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Post by Creator on Jul 31, 2006 11:31:22 GMT -5
Post funny jokes here!
Here's a Catholic one:
A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "We missed the "R", we missed the "R". His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.
The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"
With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was CELEBRATE."
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Post by Summer on Aug 1, 2006 20:14:02 GMT -5
That is a good one! Where did you find it? ;D
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Post by Creator on Aug 2, 2006 13:06:16 GMT -5
Got it sent to me by email... Just like this Jewish one:
The Inland Revenue sent their auditor to a synagogue. The auditor is doing all the checks and then turns to the Rabbi and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles." "Yes," answered the Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked. "A good question," noted the Rabbi. "We actually save them up and when we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker and every now and then, they send us a free box of candles." "Oh," replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his unusual question actually had a practical answer. So he thought he'd go on, in his obnoxious way... "Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs from the matzo?" "Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi calmly, "we actually collect up all the crumbs from the matzo and when we have enough, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a box of matzo balls." "Oh," replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions?" "Yes, here too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins, and when we have enough we actually send them to the Inland Revenue. "Inland Revenue?" questioned the auditor in disbelief. "Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, "Inland Revenue .....and about once a year, they send us a little prick like you".
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Post by Summer on Aug 2, 2006 17:26:34 GMT -5
Ha ha! Funny! ;D
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Post by Pledm on Sept 30, 2006 18:33:43 GMT -5
Hi all, Heres one hope gives a smile. Three nuns There were these three nuns that were killed in a traffic accident, and immediately sent to the Pearly Gates. As St. Peter was looking over their files, he said, "You ladies have been very good, but before I can let you in, you have to answer a question." So he asks the first nun, "What was the name of the first man that God created?" "Adam," she replied. The lights started flashing, music started playing, the angels started singing, and then two angels came out and gave the nun her halo and wings, and off she went into the Pearly Gates. Then St. Peter asked the second nun, "What was the name of the name of the first woman that God created?" "Eve," the nun said. And the lights started and two angels came out and gave the nun her halo and wings, and off she went into the Pearly Gates. Then St. Peter asked the third nun, "What was the first thing that Eve said to Adam?" The nun, clearly confused, started scratching her head, and replied, "Gee, that's a hard one." And the lights started flashing, the music started playing... hope it made ya smile  |
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Post by Summer on Oct 1, 2006 13:40:03 GMT -5
Good one, Pledm, LOL! ;D
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Post by Creator on Sept 19, 2007 7:33:29 GMT -5
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Post by Creator on Oct 2, 2008 15:04:35 GMT -5
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Post by Summer on Oct 3, 2008 13:49:13 GMT -5
LOL! That's a good one Creator! Too funny! Where ever did you find it? ;D
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Post by Creator on Oct 3, 2008 15:44:48 GMT -5
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Post by Summer on Oct 4, 2008 11:39:45 GMT -5
More good ones! LOL! ;D
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Post by Creator on Dec 8, 2010 17:05:15 GMT -5
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Post by Summer on Dec 19, 2010 1:50:39 GMT -5
LOL! Good one, Creator! Believe it or not, it took me a moment to figure out what was funny about it, ha ha! Let me tell you, healing up after brain surgery takes awhile. At least it is for me! ;D
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Post by Summer on Jan 27, 2011 16:55:12 GMT -5
There was an old woman who got out of bed one morning and looked in the mirror to see that she only had 4 hairs left on her head. "I think I'll wear a barrett today." she thought. And so she did and was happy the rest of the day.
The next morning the old woman woke up and looked in the mirror to find she had only 3 hairs left on her head. After a thoughtful moment, she decided to put her hair in a braid. So she did and was happy to do so.
The very next day when she awoke, she found she only had 2 hairs left upon her head. "I believe a pony tail will do for today." She found a tiny rubber band, put one in, and was happy for the day again.
When she awoke the morning after, she looked in the mirror to find she had NO hair left on her head. "Ah!" she exclaimed, " I don't have to do my hair today!" And she went off happily to start her day.
He he. Now that I'm a Grandma of 3, I look at life a LOT more like the old woman in this joke, and thank heavens too! It sure does make life a LOT less stressful if one is able to see the positive side of things. ;D
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Post by Summer on Mar 17, 2011 14:36:44 GMT -5
Here's one Creator showed me, ha ha!
"Taoism: "Shit happens."
Buddhism: "If shit happens, it's not really shit."
Islam: "If shit happens, it's the will of Allah."
Protestantism: "Shit happens because you don't work hard enough."
Judaism: "Why does this shit always happen to us?"
Hinduism: "This shit happened before."
Catholicism: "Shit happens because you're bad."
Hare Krishna: "Shit happens rama rama."
T.V. Evangelism: "Send more shit. "
Atheism: "No shit"
Jehova's Witness: "Knock knock, shit happens."
Hedonism: "There's nothing like a good shit happening."
Christian Science: "Shit happens in your mind."
Agnosticism: "Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't."
Rastafarianism: "Let's smoke this shit."
Existentialism: "What is shit anyway?"
Stoicism:"This shit doesn't bother me.""
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